Drift Reality

As an ardent fan of HBO television programming for the past several years, I was initially reticent to check out a new program on Showtime starring David Duchovny, who hadn’t done anything in the public domain to speak of in the past several years. Even worse, it was set in Los Angeles, which was starting to get a little boring to me after years of watching different perspectives on LA in Entourage and Curb your Enthusiasm.

Owing to the inelasticy of time I simply wasn’t that interested in adding anything new to my schedule.

Still, it was recommended to me by someone whose sensibility I trust and I decided to give it a shot. Several weeks later, I am absolutely hooked to what I think is the best new show on television (I’m using television to refer collectively to cable and television programming).

Duchovny doing his impression of a puffer fish

Because I bitch and moan so frequently in my writing and create lists of why things suck, I decided it would be nice to switch things up a bit and jot down the top five reasons why I think Californication is the best show on television currently:

1. The Writing is first rate. The show is written by a relatively veteran team of Tom Kapinos, Gina Fattore and Eric Weinberg who have all worked on television projects like Dawson’s Creek (Kapinos and Fattore) and Gilmore Girls (Fattore) that have managed to create a sense of depth in their storylines and characters. Considering the show is about a struggling writer living in Los Angeles, attempting to maintain some degree of artistic credibility while dealing with the fact that he has sold out it is likely that the writing team has some fodder to work with.
2. Perspective on LA - Unlike Entourage, which paints LA in a fairly positive light - as a light-hearted playground for the rich and beautiful, Californication (which is also from the perspective of an East coast transplant) explores the superficiality and grim cynicism of a city and people that have come to fully embrace the commodification of arts and entertainment. You almost get the feeling that the writers, as well as Duchovny (who like Hank Moody is from New York City), are using the show to vent their frustrations with a city that has brought them wealth and fame for their trade, while simultaneously confining them into corporate frameworks.
3. Duchovny / Hank Moody - Although I think Duchovny is probably a bit egomaniacal and doesn’t seem to have any discernible range of character, there is something incredibly charismatic about his portrayal of Hank Moody. Duchovny finds a way to make you like and actually root for a self-destructive, self-absorbed, alcoholic philanderer. Even when he is snorting lines of cocaine off a hooker’s back, there is something oddly amusing about him and of course it has a lot to do with Duchovny. On a related note, the beaten-up outdated Porsche that Moody drives is a stroke of genius.  It is just such a perfect metaphor for Moody’s character.
4. Editing - I don’t think the editing is really ground-breaking, but it is consistently solid. It doesn’t strive to accomplish more than what is possible within the constraints of the production. In the show’s culmination, when Natascha McElhone’s character reads the letter from Moody’s Father that he never opened, while the grainy 8MM footage runs on screen, I thought to myself, a little cliché but still fits the creative framework of the show and is actually pretty touching.  I think a lot of the show is like this actually not really ground-breaking but tremendously solid and the net effect is pretty impressive.
5. Timing - From a competitive standpoint, Californication couldn’t have been better timed. Entourage’s lackluster season 4 just ended a few weeks ago, Curb your Enthusiasm is on the decline, and there is no discernible competition (no offense to people who like the show Tell Me You Love Me, but I get my daily fill of hearing about problematic relationships every time I talk to a friend on the phone and guess what? It isn’t that fun or entertaining).

To be fair, the show does seem to have some narrative constraints that may limit its shelf life to two or three seasons (before it starts smelling stale): There is probably an excessive focus on Duchovny’s perspective and the one really compelling storyline is Duchovny’s relationship with McElhone’s character. Although I wouldn’t put it past the writers to figure out a way to creatively expand the narrative structure.

Ultimately, I think Californication is as good as it gets right now.

After spending a lot of time deliberating over the matter, I have come to the unequivocal conclusion that I should be the next mayor of Los Angeles.

“But Jiyan,” you might ask. “You have zero political experience besides a one-month stint spent interning for a congressman in San Diego!”

That doesn’t matter. If the Terminator can become the governor of California, then someone like me should be able to become the next mayor of California. Actually, I have a lot more going for me than the Terminator. Here are the ten reasons why I should be the next major of Los Angeles:

1. I am half-Asian - According to a 2000 census report, just fewer than 370,000 Asians live in Los Angeles. This accounts for about 9.99% of the total population in LA. Furthermore, I am specifically half-Korean, and the Korean population alone totals about 92,000 strong. I would automatically command the Asian vote if I ran for mayor of Los Angeles.

2. I am half-Persian - There are various estimates of the total number of Iranians living in Los Angeles, but I think it would be safe to say there are over 200,000 Iranians living in LA. Not only does this population account for a great deal of votes, but the 2000 census shows that Iranian-Americans have a 45% higher per capita income than the national average so basically I could count on their support for votes as well as for fund-raising.

3. I look somewhat Latino - As you can see from my picture, I could pass for some type of South American. Actually, there was this guy from Chile in my elementary school and we definitely looked very similar. Furthermore, when I used to lifeguard in Bethesda, I was sometimes paired up with this Bolivian who swore I looked Latin American. He tried to fix me up with my sister but that went horribly awry. I digress – I look Latino and we are basically talking about a HUGE Latino population in Los Angeles that is estimated at around 1.7 million (47% of the total population!) Furthermore, I have an uncanny ability to devour Latin American food and this will inevitably endear me to the Latino population even more.

4. I can ball. Well sort of - I honestly think I’m pretty good at basketball for a 5’10” Korean-Iranian-American. I played on the University of London team and averaged around 8 points/game. I definitely think I can do well enough to play in some inner-city tournaments and this would definitely win me support among the Asian, Black, and Latino populations.

5. I went to Georgetown University - Okay, believe it or not, there are definitely some white people living in Los Angeles. Actually, there are about 1.7 million white people living in Los Angeles: about 47% of the population. I went to a predominantly white catholic university and even attended Catholic Mass on several occasions. Furthermore, my diction is definitely very waspy and I can speak at length on topics like the Dave Matthews Band, Friends, and Seinfeld.

6. I watched the movie Crash and understood it - I’m serious. I can talk about the political economy themes in the film; issues of representation; the cinematography – you name it, and I can talk about it.

7. According to my Mother, I’m pretty good looking and I haven’t had any surgery - As we all know, LA is the most superficial city in the United States. Miami runs a distant second. I couldn’t find any statistics on cosmetic surgical operations by city, but I would be willing to bet that LA is at the top of the list. Clearly, they care about looks in this city and by electing me they would be electing a guy who is pretty good looking.

8. I can order food, cuss, and ask where the bathroom is in four languages - Five, if you count Ebonics as a language. The other four are: Farsi, Korean, Spanish and English. As we all know, all you need to know how to do in order to get by in any culture is to order food, cuss, and ask where the bathroom is. I can do it in languages that are all relevant in Los Angeles.

9. I have an insatiable appetite (for food) - A big part of politics is eating. There are so many social functions to attend: dinners, luncheons, banquets, etc. I could eat 6 full meals per day if I had to, twice the number of any ordinary politician. Also, everyone respects a politician they can relate to. The image of me stuffing my face with food in my teeth will be enough to make any potential voter fall in love with me instantaneously.

10. I will schmooze you to death - I’m at my best when I have a tuxedo on and a cocktail in my hand. Actually, most of the time I don’t even know what I’m talking about but I can talk for about 6 hours straight. I’m serious – someone once timed me. The best part about it is that I am normally inebriated enough that I don’t recall what I am talking about so every time I tell a story, it will feel like the first time I’ve told it and that will make you feel special.

In conclusion, I have what it takes to be the next mayor of Los Angeles. Actually, I didn’t even have to think to put this list together. I could probably write down about fifty more reasons why I should be the major of LA. If anyone has any political connections in LA, please do not hesitate to contact me and let’s work something out.