Apr 11th, 2005
Quarter Life Crisis
Wake up, shower, shave, eat breakfast, go to work, go to class, come home, eat dinner, watch TV, go to bed.
From the moment I began to breath, I had a conviction that I would be what I wanted.
That I didn’t know what I wanted to be was irrelevant.
I knew what I didn’t want to be, and that was everyone else.
I wanted to be different, I wanted to be unique, I wanted to be…
Wake up, shower, shave, eat breakfast, go to work, go to class, come home, eat dinner, watch TV, go to bed.
The slightest hint of a breeze changes my dreams, whether it’s a book or a passing comment, in one hour I see myself as a lawyer, doctor, and archeologist.
I see a hundred ways outside of this cave but I don’t see where I’m supposed to take the first step in any direction except forwards or backwards.
There is no circle of decisions, so all I can do is put my head down and go.
Wake up, shower, shave, eat breakfast, go to work, go to class, come home, eat dinner, watch TV, go to bed.
I’m 23 going on 50 and the confidence I had when I was young is slipping away, I’m still walking in that same tunnel and I can start to see where it ends, but it has nothing to do with where I thought it would end when I started.
I’ve had my head down for too long and now it’s almost too late to change my mind and go back.
What do I do - risk going back and waste all this time to find out I’m not better off than before, or just put my head back down and keep walking?
Wake up, shower, shave, eat breakfast, go to work, go to class, come home, eat dinner, watch TV, tuck the kids in, go to bed.
When I was a little boy, I would always ask my parents’ friends, “What did you want to be when you were younger.”
I’d shiver as I saw their eyes glaze over for a second, as if they were remembering what it was like when there was still time to wonder.
Now, it seems like there is just time to wake up, shower, shave, eat breakfast, go to work, go to class, come home, eat dinner, watch TV, go to bed, and sleep.
