Pyongyang, North Korea - My Grandfather

My Father doesn't have many memories of my grandfather. He spent most of his waking moments at work, until he began a shoe business. His primary (and quite possibly his only) responsibility in the family was to earn money. According to my Father, he was successful at providing his family with a comfortable life although it is possible that they received supplementary support from my Father's wealthy grandparents, who were living in Hawaii at the time.

My Grandfather was looked upon as the unequivocal head of the family. Often times, my Grandmother would serve him before the rest of the family, in a room set apart where he would eat by himself. Other times, he would go to a nearby bar after he was done working for the day, and drink with his friends until late at night. When he was fairly drunk, he would trudge back home, where his wife would be waiting to warm up his dinner and keep him company while he ate, if he felt so inclined.

According to my Father, "Dinner conversations did not include much inquiry into the well being of my siblings and I. Happiness and fulfillment in life were not an important function in our family; paying proper attention to the roles we were expected to play was of the utmost importance."

My Father does not recall every seeing my Grandfather display any sign of outward affection towards his wife or children. It did not mean that he did not care or that he resented them, it just was not expected of him. On the other hand, my Grandfather was a strict disciplinarian when it came to asserting what was acceptable and unacceptable from his children.