Drift Reality > South Korea > September 2000

Well, I've been here for almost one month and I'm finally getting over the impulse to pack all my bags and head for the airport. Though I'm teaching an inordinate amount of classes, I think that I've finally managed to pace myself. I've stopped running around, trying to get all the kids enthusiastic to learn (which is hard when they speak hardly any English). Instead, I've settled down and tried to let things flow a little more.

One thing that I learned very quickly was that I can't always be the happy go-lucky teacher that is friends with all the kids. There are usually one or two kids in each class who are complete demons and I've begun to be a little stricter with them. I made one kid sit Indian style on the floor in front of me one day, for a few minutes. He started crying though so I let him return to his seat, but for the rest of class, everyone was quiet and attentive. Another tactic that I've picked up is to draw a picture of the problem kid, except make him wearing a dress or dancing with a monkey or something. Then all the kids laugh at him and he stops causing trouble.

I've also learned that when a kid has too much energy, the best thing to do is to make him jump up and down for about thirty seconds. The trick is to make him do it for the entire time. The third trick I've learned is the art of bribery. I tell the kids if they are good and finish the lessons quickly, we can play hangman at the end of class. Anyway, it is very very difficult. Actually, it's one of the most difficult things that I've ever done, especially because I'm teaching so many damn classes.

I've tried to spice things up by using my own flashcards instead of the school's. Instead of a happy Asian boy eating a sandwich, I incorporate characters such as devils and teenage mutant ninja turtles into the cards. Anyway, after teaching four classes in a row, I feel like strangling myself with a jump rope, but I'm hoping that this will pass.

Some kids have very strange habits. This one little boy always slaps my ass and then tries to crawl up my leg like a little monkey. I usually just stand there, flabbergasted, while he manages to make his way up to my neck. Then he hugs me and calls me "Hanaboge," which I found out means "Grandfather."

I went out with the other Korean teachers last night to celebrate the hottest day of the year. We went to a traditional Korean restaurant where they served whole chickens that had been soaked in broth. There was ginseng root in the chickens, which every Korean teacher told me would "increase my stamina." When I asked "stamina for what," they just smiled and said something in Korean. Then I said, "You look like an orangutan" very quickly so they couldn't understand and when they asked me to repeat what I said, I would say, "Oh, I was just asking what you said."

Another thing that I've developed is my stupid face, which I use whenever someone starts talking Korean to me. I just look at them and pretend that I'm a mongoloid, which isn't that hard for me. Sometimes I just start saying "English! English!" when they start talking Korean and most of the time (this is true) they walk away from me.

Well, I'm busy as hell trying to study for the GRE, and I'm applying to UCLA film school first, soon to be followed by USC and NYU. Also, I'm trying to find a Hapkido/Taekwondo institute near the school, as I've been informed that I will be moving to a two-bedroom apartment nearer to the school (which is good because then I don't have to commute). Anyway, I miss all of you, keep in touch.