|
Drift
Reality > South Korea >
Telephone Interviews
During
my nine months at my Hawkwan, I came to realize that the supervisors
and the general approach to education were absolutely insane.
The first two indications of just how ludicrous a situation I
had committed myself to when I signed the Hawkwan contract came
when I found out about weekly telephone interviews and our monthly
student progress reports.
As
part of ECC's holistic approach to the study of the English language,
students were to receive one phone call/week from native English
speaking instructors and one progress report/month, complete with
both quantitative and qualitative analysis of their performance.
I
was fortunate in that the supervisors came me a month to adjust,
before handing me a folder that contained all the pertinent information
for making my telephone interview calls, and telling me that my
monthly progress reports would be due at the end of the week.
I personally think that they wanted to try and mediate the amount
of craziness that they allowed me to comprehend so that I would
not make a break for it early on. Oh no, they wanted to wait until
I got settled in before letting me realize how freakish my existence
was.
After
month one, I received my telephone interview folder and was told
that I would have to make phone calls to the students once/week.
Admittedly, this practice was actually beneficial to the five
or so students who were competent enough to carry on a polysyllabic
conversation in English. For the other three hundred or so students,
it was a complete waste of time.
My
first call was a six-year-old girl, whose English name was "Suzie."
It was my responsibility to call her on the phone and ask her
five simple questions, which were provided to me. Upon receiving
her answers, I had to write her them down so that the Korean teachers
could monitor their progress. It seemed simple enough, but in
reality, it was a struggle. Initially, I was extremely patient
with the students and made every effort to grind through the short
list of questions.
A
typical conversation would go as follows:
Suzie's
Mom: Yoboseyo?
Jiyan: Hello?
Suzie's Mom: (in Korean) Oh, this must be Suzie's teacher.
Jiyan: What? I'm sorry, I don't speak Korean.
Suzie's Mom: (in Korean) Okay, let me get Suzie.
Jiyan: I'm looking for Suzie. Hello?
(after a few moments Suzie picks up the phone)
Suzie: Hello:
Jiyan: Hi Suzie, this is Jiyan teacher?
Suzie: Hello?
Jiyan: Yes, I would like to talk to you. How are you?
Suzie: Fine thank you, and you?
Jiyan: Fine, thank you. So Suzie, what are you doing?
Suzie: Hello?
Jiyan: Yes, what are you doing right now Suzie?
Suzie: I am fine.
Jiyan: No, I'm not asking you how you're doing, I'm asking you
what you are doing?
Suzie: Hello?
Jiyan: Suzie, what are you doing now?
Suzie: Television.
Jiyan: You are watching television?
Suzie: Yes.
Jiyan: What are you watching?
Suzie: What?
Jiyan: What is it that you are watching right now Suzie?
Suzie: What?
Jiyan: What time is it right now Suzie?
Suzie: Teacher?
As
you can see, the conversations were a waste of our time. Unfortunately,
the supervisors and I did not see eye to eye on this situation and
I was obligated to continue the telephone interviews. The supervisors
did mention that I would be allowed to alter the content of the
telephone conversations. In a typically mature fashion, I gradually
found a way to entertain myself during the telephone interviews
and after several months, I had found a format that was much more
suitable to my tastes.
Suzie's
Mom: Yoboseyo?
Jiyan: Yo yo yo! It's Jiyan.
Suzie's Mom: (in Korean) Just a minute please.
Suzie: Hello teacher.
Jiyan: Hey there girl, what have you been up to lately?
Suzie: Teacher?
Jiyan: Yeah, I know, teacher, that's right. Well, I'm glad you
asked how I'm doing because I'm doing superb. I met a girl the
other night, she is fly!
Suzie: Teacher?
Jiyan: Yeah, so, do you like pizza?
Suzie: Yes teacher.
Jiyan: Yeah, anyway, this girl is a lingerie model. Can you believe
it? She has got a body like you cannot believe. I mean, she makes
me want to do things unheard of, you know what I'm saying? By
the way, do you like hamburgers?
Suzie: Yes teacher.
Jiyan: Anyway, things are going all right at school you know.
The won is dropping all the time, what's up with that? What's
up with your all's currency?
Suzie: Teacher?
Jiyan: Don't play innocent with me girl! I know you have something
to do with it!
Suzie: What?
Jiyan: No, I'm just playing, I don't think you have anything to
do with the depreciation of the won. Anyway, what is hotter, soup
or ice cream?
Suzie: Soup is hotter than ice cream.
Jiyan: Yeah, speaking of soup, I'm going to try and call that
girl up tonight. What do you think? Should I wait longer and let
her roast a while or should I just call her up tonight?
Suzie: Teacher? I don't know.
Jiyan: Yeah, well thanks for the advice, you better hit the bricks
soon you know? By the way, do you like ice cream?
Suzie: Yes teacher.
Jiyan: Cool.
|
