Drift Reality > Washington, DC > Crazy Starbucks Man

Yesterday, I saw a crazy guy at Starbucks.

I had been doing some work there with a friend of mine, and had taken a quick break to go eat free samples at the WholeFoods next door. My friend was watching my laptop.

As I walked into the Starbucks, I saw some crazy old man yelling at my friend: "You have a real fucking attitude, that's what I think."

I walked up to him and he looked at me, apologetically, and said, "I'm sorry, did I take your seat?" I nodded my head and he quickly got up and sat at the far end of the table.

"What did you say to him?" I asked my friend.

"I just said that you were sitting there, and that you would be getting back soon," he responded, completely flabbergasted.

I sat down and watched as the crazy old man started mumbling something incoherently. He then looked over at us and shouted, "God damnit, they want to knock me off, but I'm not going to tell them how to do it."

I looked down at my computer and tried to ignore him.

"You all are from Bush's office," the man continued. "I know it. I've seen you before."

It was at that point that I decided an action needed to be taken. He was clearly insane - as I was very much a liberal and disagreed with Bush on many policy decisions.

I got up from my seat, walked outside the Starbucks, and stared back through the glass front entrance at the crazy old man.

I stood there until the man realized that I was staring at him from outside.

When I knew I had his attention, I slowly curled the bottom three fingers of my left hand in, while leaving my index finger pointed firmly out, creating an imaginary gun with my hand.

Maintaining eye contact with the crazy old man, I lifted the imaginary gun to my head and watched as his jaw dropped open.

With my index finger pressed against my temple, I pulled the imaginary trigger and rolled my eyes upwards.

When I turned back to look at the man, I saw him frantically gathering his stuff.

He ran out the door, right past me, keeping his eyes directed down at the ground.

"We're watching you," I shouted at him as he ran by.